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[23 Apr 2003|08:33pm] |
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im eating orange tic tacs.
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| I want to die. |
[09 Dec 2002|07:02pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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music |
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Bikini Kill - Hamster Baby |
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god i feel like fucking death on a stick. I have a terrible cold, on top of a terrible cough, and my lungs are fucking burning like hell, and oh.... yuck. I totally am sick.
Anywho, weekend was good. Went into the city on thursday, hung out at Suzy's and then The Doxies practiced on Thursday night. That was fuckin Rockin as hell, and then I got totally drunk. So friday we played a show at the Green Lounge In Brooklyn, a bunch a people i haven't seen in a loooong time were there, like The Clap, who were also playing. I was so fucking Drunk. I drank free beer all night long, and i was totally fucked up. Amanda was there, and we hung out for a while, she's fuckin rad. Then we all got in a car and went back to Sue's aoartnebt and like, i dont know. My memory is kinda fuzzy aftyer that. But in anycase, i got up, Me and Suz hopped a train to Long Island, (ridin the bathrooms, hell yeah) and I had to play a show with The Skum. It went fine, but, then got all fucking fucked up. I was sitting in the car with Renee and eric and Suzanne, and like we all started talking about how we think Aaron is letting this band go to his head a little ( more like a lot) too Much. And like i was getting really emotional and Sue and everyone made me feel better (thanks guys) but they got to talk a lot about how they felt about Aaron's recent actions and attitudes towards ALL of us, especially me, as well as how we all agreed that lately it felt more like a fucking job, and we havnet been having any fun because theres been jsut a very bad hora in the air . So we tried to talk to aaron, and like, i was totally drunk, but still tried to be mature about it all and we all talked in the car, and like... Aaron jsut stormed off. That's the last I heard from Him. I dont know what they all want to do. But i have too much stress in my life goin gon, and like. ,i felt like ive lost what used to be my best friend. Now i dont know what he is anymore.
Sunday eric bought me breakfast and cigarettes, and we wernt to the movies. The he dropped me off, and thats when i started feeling like shit. Had a job interview at 6 am this morning, and that went ok. Hopefully they call me back soon. I need dough.
Im not going anywhere tonite, IM me. Peace out mutha fuckerz.
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[03 Dec 2002|12:11am] |
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went and got tattood tonite, just got some leopard print on my left arm...over my elbow and shit. its black and blue...its dope. imm out. peace.
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| fucking computers... |
[28 Nov 2002|09:19pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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Dystopia- StressBuilds Character |
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My fucking computer like had a heart attack. stopped working, so... my brothers trying to fix it. he needs some disk and has to format the drive or something. I don't know anything about how computers actually work, i jsut know how to use them. So, this sucks. No computer, lostmost of my music that i had on there... and... i dunno. Rented Grand theft auto Vice City, so i gues i have something to do. Great. I'm gonna have fun plaiyng my brothers playstation all night. Happy Fucking Thanksgiving. Not Really.
I talked to Erin for a while today, it's nice to hear her voice, although i don't know if i feel better or worse now... I'm glad she's happy. She seems to be doing well. We'regonna talk alittle more later. She'scooking for peopleand shit. I still really miss her. I'm getting used to not having her aorund finally, i think, but... I dunno. Blah blah blah, I'm jsut gonna shut the fuck up now.
Fuck Thanksgiving, nothing but a celebration of the land they stole, along with Columbus Day. Peace. I'm gonna get back to doing nothing. Id REALLY liek to talk to someone today, so, this time i mean it when i ssay someone call me. 631 697 0503.
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| ..... |
[27 Nov 2002|12:04pm] |
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mood |
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 rushed |
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music |
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Crass - Nagasaki Nightmare |
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Morning. Its noon or so. too bad, hahaha. I have to go look for a job today, my mum is letting me use her car. Gonna check out this car rental place, cause they need people to clean out the cars overnight. It probably pays well, and I'll probably make out with mad change fromt the cars hahaha.
I spent a few days with Jay, I'm glad i got to see him. I hope to see him again before he leaves. Playeda show with the Doxies on Sat. and that was cool. Got totally fucked up, and played a good set suprisingly. Met these 2 really cool streetkids, Thom and Dawn, I really like them a lot, they're really sweet people. Had Fun.
I guess I better get the hell out of here so my mother shuts the hell up. Someone gimme a call on my cell, I'm bored. 631.697.0503
Peace fuckers.
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| Coffee... The Nectar of the Gods... |
[21 Nov 2002|07:09am] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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Carol Ann - Newborn |
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Man. I Worked fucking almost 14 hours yesterday.... made a hundred bucks. So, that's cool. And I came home and fell asleep... haha. I wanted to stay up cause there are a lot of people who are here this week that i want to see, and last night would have been good to see someone.... Me and Jay are supposed to use the Dream Machine at some point before he leaves too. Dennis and Kate are here from Arizona for a few days, and Little Ian is back from traveling for this week...But I fell asleep at about 9.30 and failed to wake up till just now. I don't wanna be up this early! haha. Oh man. Well, anyway, this weekend was cool, Played a show with The Doxies on monday night, haha, and that was fucking TERRIBLE!! haha. We were all totally blasted, I spent about 50 bucks at the bar, and We played pretty bad. Oh well. I think we have another show this weekend. I don't know where at though. I need a job so bad, Just a regular steady one, but.... noone ever calls me back. I look around at some of the FREAKS of NATURE working in these places, and say to myself, am i really THAT ugly for them to not even call me back? hah. I have to buy more soy milk. Bastards house'd it while i was out. No cereal for Billy. Time for the morning cigg.
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| grrr. |
[14 Nov 2002|07:38pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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Tragedy - Confession of a Suicide Advocate |
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Just got home from chillin with Marie. I love that girl, she rocks. We went to this wierd littel coffee house thing in Stonybrook. That was cool. Had some coffe, ate a bagel, got some American Spirit rolling tobacco, so, I'm pretty set. Aaron's on his way to pick me up, we have practice tonite. Uhh. yea. Rockin some Tragedy. Too bad I'll MISS them on saturday, goddammit. I need to get some more tattoos, ive been pretty depressed. Its really theraputic for me. I should talk to renee tonite.
Mom's bitching. I work 2 jobs, and it's still not good enough for her. Fuck 'er. Gotta find my drumsticks...
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| another fucking morning. |
[14 Nov 2002|09:40am] |
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mood |
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music |
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Assuck - Misery Index |
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Well. Here we go again. I woke up again... DAMMIT! hahaha. Oh man. It's like fucking 9.45 in the am, It feels wierd actually waking up with the sun still up, BARELY up at that. Ive had NO sleep pattern lately, as opposed to jsut having an erratic one. That's alright i guess. I really want to ehad in to ABC this weekedn, on saturday fucking TRAGEDY is playing, but i have to play a show in Long Island instead. OH well. I really can't wait for me and Rob to start playing again, we used to play in Attentat, until Dennis and Kate moved to fucking Az. Theyre coming back this week, so if anyone can get us on a show like friday night the 22nd, then that would rock. But After they leave, me and Rob are gonna start playing again, instead I'm gonna be playing guitar, and Rob's gonna sing, were gonna get my friend Jay from Cesspool Treatment to play drums, and I gotta see about a bass player. I'm thinking about asking Matt from MDC and thought crime, but i don't know if he'll do it. So. Either way, that shits gonna fucken rock. Me and Jay and Rob all have like the same taste in music, haha, for the mostpart.
I really hate fucking living. I fucking feel like shit no matter what. All I wanna do is play music, and take pictures, and my mother has to make this so hard for me. I should have never moved back here. But I only moved back to NY because i thought she would help me since i wanna go to school. But of course not, she's gonna fucking be even more insane then when i left.Oh well.
I geuss that's all for now, I'm gonna get back to doing what i do best.... nothing.
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| Man It's been a while. |
[14 Nov 2002|04:07am] |
Well, I just decided to check this thing out again, Bored on a thursday morning. How's everyone doing? Id read all your journals, but I'm too lazy. For those of you whom i've seen, you alerady know what's been going on, and those, i havent, gimme an email or a call or something.
Drinkuntilyoudie@hotmail.com
631 697 0503
Anyway, i came back to NY in teh end of September, cutting my trip short cause of my grandpa. Me and Erin broke up. She went back to school in California. Good for her, i guess. At lest she got away from this fucking place. I've been pretty sick lately... sucks. More or less depressed. but what else is new. too many feelings. i dont want them. hah thats toob ad for me i guess. i've been getting a lot of writing done, which is good, cause right now its my only outlet, cause i have no film or paint.I'm totally broke, i owe my mother another 550 bucks from a stupid cell phone bill i had from talking to erin all summer. that's made me completely broke for the last 2 months cause i make like no money and everyhting i get i have to pay to her before i can do anything else. Asshole.
I'm having a terrible time living back with my mother too. I havent lived here in about 8 months, and like, i dont know. I thought things might be better with her, as far as our relationship goes, but. to no avail. shes more insane than ever, and lie... i dunno. It's jsut not healthy. for ANYONE to live this way. But i have no other options at this piont, cause i wanna go to school.
I need a guitar. If anyone wants to sell me or lend me an electric guitar, i would be very fucking happy. caus ei really need to start writing music too. Yeah.
I dunno. Ive been really lonely lately. I have friends, but. I just still feel really lonely and I miss a lot of feelings that i dont have anymore. Way for me to sound fucking emo as hell hahaha. yeah... anyway.
I dunno. Someone email me or call me or something, cause I'm bored. IM me on AIM at PublicAnimal1.
I'll write again soon, if i remember.
May the world end before i wake up tomorrow,
Billy Beer.
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| TOURIN WITH THE MOTHAFUCKIN LOITERERS |
[01 Aug 2002|04:32pm] |
Well, GOod News, Laidies and Gentlemen, The Loiterers are goin on tour, I'm takin a trip down to arkansas, and departing Little Rock on the 26th of August with the line up as follows..Ian, vocals, Jay, guitar, Scott, Bass, and me on drums.
Were hittin detroit, cleveland, chicago, and then over to jersey and new york, possible up north a little bit if we can get the shows, then down the coast and back to little rock.
If anyone has any possible show dates in any of the states i spoke of, and anywhere in between, email me at DrinkUntilYouDie@hotmail.com
thats all for now, peace out fuckers.
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| uhhghhh |
[10 Apr 2002|03:19pm] |
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mood |
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relaxed |
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s i moved into duncans today. its cool i wish i could bingt more stuff, but theres no room! so oh well. i have to go so i can bring my bed over there. bye.
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| ugh. |
[06 Apr 2002|08:06am] |
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got my new tatto on thursday.if i ever take a picture of it ill post it, but otherwise you all have to wait and see me to see it.
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| AAHHH |
[04 Apr 2002|06:22am] |
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why is everything i post coming up twice!!!!????
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[04 Apr 2002|06:19am] |
What kind of drunk are you?
What Kind Of Drunk Are You?
Aww, give us a cuddle. You're an Emotional Drunk!
"But I thought he liked me. It was all going so well. I can't take it, you know? Not again. Why me, you know? My life is so fucking shit. I'm just a worthless piece of nothing shit. Everything I do is shit, or it turns to shit, or I turn it to shit."
- pause -
"You've got beautiful eyes ..."
hahahaha that is so me...im such a putz...
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[04 Apr 2002|06:19am] |
What kind of drunk are you?
What Kind Of Drunk Are You?
Aww, give us a cuddle. You're an Emotional Drunk!
"But I thought he liked me. It was all going so well. I can't take it, you know? Not again. Why me, you know? My life is so fucking shit. I'm just a worthless piece of nothing shit. Everything I do is shit, or it turns to shit, or I turn it to shit."
- pause -
"You've got beautiful eyes ..."
hahahaha that is so me...im such a putz...
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[04 Apr 2002|06:09am] |
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| ahh another useless day. |
[04 Apr 2002|05:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
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apathetic |
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music |
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the hum of the friggin buzillion computers in this room. |
] |
well here i am at work again. its almost 6 am. im so tired its unbelievable. i didnt go to sleep after i got home from work yesterday cause i decided i should try and pack up some of my stuff. so i did. it takes a long time because all my shit is so unorganized. but anyway...
sitting here. BORED . i really wish there was someone online at least. but im not that lucky i guess. ahhhh im so tired. i wish i could sleep but if i try i know ill get cought and theyll fire me on the spot. thats something i dont need cause i only have 150 bones saved up right now. hopefully ill get some more money in the mail for the records that i sold so i can pay for my next tattoo. but again. im probably not that lucky. uhh so anyway. lemme think. has anyhting interesting happened in my life? NO . Anything remotely related to interesting? NO . Im just gonna go do something else.
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